Hello z-scollers, welcome to the blog, hope everyone is doing great.
This past weeks has not been the easiest.
Worked resumed last monday and on sunday I was totally not prepared, I’d usually arrange my stuff, plan my to-do list, but i slept on Sunday night not worrying about anything …I just said to myself tomorrow would take care of itself.
First I woke up late the next morning, the cold and all, my body hadn’t adjusted to waking up early, so I got ready haphazardly, found myself at work and just struggled through out the day. Well it affected my mood and I concluded I’d be fine and would probably do better the next day.
Tuesday came and I felt even worse, I had this heaviness in my heart, work didn’t make it any better, I was unhappy for the most part, scared and anxious, my thoughts were all over the place. I haven’t mastered the act of masking my emotions and wearing a fake smile all day err day so I guess my countenance was quite obvious, did the best I could at work, didn’t have a choice, plus I wasn’t ready to ruin things there and compound my problems.
I’m heading somewhere please stick with me.
At night I wouldn’t sleep, there were days I cried my eyes sore, the fright and worry continued.
I decide to talk to a few of my friends, my circle is really small and I would usually talk to myself, my sis or my mom and get all the support, relieve and assurance I needed at that point in time, but I decided to share my problems further, you know what they say about problems being shared, okay.
The last two conversations I had was as if God spoke through their mouths, I gained so much light, I was at work that faithful Wednesday, I knelt down to pray a simple prayer
I told God “He knows me better than anyone else and all I seek is His peace, I was done worrying about the known and unknown and all I wanted was that He guide me through my journey here on earth and I was willing to not fight His plan or will. In that instance I felt calm, it was magical, so quick so swift, I can’t fitit into words. God heard me, He didn’t answer in the way I was use to hearing Him speak to me. I stood up dusted myself and carried on with my work.
I’m learning to take each day as it comes, running with Matthew 6:33 and watch God settle every other thing.
We live in a chaotic world, it messes with our thought pattern, work us up and ultimately leave us feeling miserable, not the best feeling I can assure you.
Please do not bottle up your feelings, I’d say talk to someone, not just anyone, more than anyone in this world we all know what good counsel sounds like and where to get one. Most importantly talk to God, not like your Boss, or strict parent, talk to him like you would talk to your love interest, ask Him relevant Questions, he’s a question answering God, don’t be hasty to leave, wait till you get a response, He’s always speaking.
I don’t know who’s meant to see this, I just want you to know you’re not alone God loves you more than you could ever imagine, He sees all you’re going through and he just wants you to let him in, so he can help you.
Thank you for taking out time to read my blog, please share this if you think it might help someone out there. I love you all see you in my next post. Peace!
